I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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