Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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