Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
