Buhtt sex?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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