He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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