Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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