i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
