No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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