I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
