I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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