she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We have started to decorate penises.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
