farters have to be the big spoon...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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