On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
