thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
