no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
