only if we run a train.
done.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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