Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
