You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
