Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
