So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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