Say something about gay babies.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
