Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Life without a bra equals bliss.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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