Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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