Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
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The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
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I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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