I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Randomize
