Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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