Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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