Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
