I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
