Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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