Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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