her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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