you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
