so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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