I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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