Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
