What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
