Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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