If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
