Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The struggles of a small town man whore
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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