Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
