I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
