she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
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In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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