dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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