He is such a slut. More and more my type.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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