so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
