tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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