your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
