We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
