I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
