im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
