She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She bit a glass in half.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize