I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
