I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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