So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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