4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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