I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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