Whod you bang
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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