omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
