I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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